"from my experience in counseling couples a woman often diminishes effort in appearance in the face of a neglectful or distracted husband. Why give up the sensual pleasures of food when the sensual pleasure of touch is not offered as a substitute? To be sure, we all need to live healthy, attractive lives for ourselves before anyone else. Self-respect and dignity are key. But I also reject the idea that loving ourselves can in any way compensate for the love of another. And a sexually distracted or uninterested husband gives little incentive to prioritize looking great, especially when a woman feels pulled by a thousand different priorities, especially when coming home from work also means coming home to work. We all enjoy being attractive, so when a woman in the prime of her life no longer cares as much, we ought to ask why."